Mass Death Does Not Move Me

I’ve reached a point of my life where most humans might as well be paper cut out dolls.

What I mean is I find them all too common and alike. It’s a bit boring and droll.

Aspects of people’s lives just seem identical and interchangeable. Are these people really alive?

Everyone drives a stupid pickup truck. Everyone is vaping with the latest vaporizers. Whole groups of people are indistinguishable from one other.

So, if people die in the destruction of a building, or if they get caught up in a mass killing which is inevitable in this day and age… Why should I care too much?

Martial Arts

Last semester, maybe about four or five months ago I decided to start Danzan Ryu Jiu-Jitsu.

It’s been a lot of fun. I am excited to go to every class. I definitely get excited about learning the techniques. I get enamored with the pain because when it courses through me the dots connect in my head on how the move is performed and how the whole nerve, joint, and muscle matrix comes together.

Doing the holds and getting them right is a masterpiece of pain, or like a computer program that executes beautifully. Whenever I am in a lock or hold feeling pain or doing it to someone else my mind goes crazy and I think I reach a kind of nirvana. I think I am starting to crave the pain like a drug and I need to check myself that I don’t get too lost. I think it might actually be possible to endure it so much that my arm breaks, or I might hurt someone else which I definitely do not want. Man, I sound crazy.

After every class, when I go home I can not fall asleep. It gives me such a rush and I feel so good. I go to class the next day feeling wrecked from lack of sleep but I don’t care. I enjoy it too much. Fuck computers.

It has definitely stirred a great curiosity in myself to explore the realm of martial arts. It’s a journey that is ahead of me.

Every art has its mythos and background. Personally, my favorite stories are the rivalries between Brazil and Japan. I like reading the history of these two countries and I very much love that the rivalry continues to this day. This goes for the stories of Helio Gracie fighting Kimura and getting his arm broken, supposedly in front of 40,000 people. Or how Royce Gracie, or any Gracie for that matter, would go through entire tournaments and not break a sweat or even have an opponent so much as land a punch. My favorite fighter of all-time has to be Sakuraba who is Chaos Incarnate with his miracle wins, crazy unorthodox fighting style, and stupid goofy antics. When he started spanking Royce Gracie and making silly faces at the camera I thought he was nuts and had a deathwish. I kind of fell in love with him. He doesn’t win at all these days, but I still love him.

The rivalry between Brazil and Japan has brought out the best in the two countries fighters. It’s actually kind of beautiful. I would like to learn techniques from both countries. I also enjoy videos of off-duty Brazilian cops kicking ass.

I am still figuring out what I like. I would really like to continue learning Danzan but that really depends on where on planet Earth I find myself. I know that I like doing locks and holds. I found games like “passing the guard” really invigorating and even though it wore the fuck out of me I probably will be back for more sometime. Do I want to stick with a system where the partner is more or less compliant? Or do I want my partner to be a huge pain in my ass and resist everything? How about running in and “shooting” because that looks really cool. I really don’t know.

I don’t expect to learn much punching and kicking. If things go down around me my first recourse is always to run away like a bitch. I don’t care. It’s the most logical and rational course of action.

It would also be good to mention that NJPW wrestlers also have strong backgrounds in martial arts and I love those guys. Minoru Suzuki was able to beat Ken Shamrock in his prime. If you look at their ears, especially people like Tanahashi, you notice that they are all messed up and they have probably had their share of real non-scripted battles. They do what they do to tell a story, and that is another thing entirely.

My favorite wrestler, Kenny Omega, is a purple belt in BJJ. So is Maynard of the band Tool and A Perfect Circle. These are atypical human beings who are probably several standard deviations smarter than the average person. Plus, they are kind of crazy and I love crazy.

I am more concerned with obtaining knowledge than chasing a belt color. I might be an ignoramus saying this but I think the system doesn’t make sense to me. I know the Japanese Jiu-Jitsu system takes something like six years to achieve black-belt while the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu system takes like ten years plus. Would both black-belts be equal? I don’t think so because there’s definitely a huge difference in time it took to get to black-belt between the two. There is also a huge difference in the method of training. The whole belt thing ultimately confuses me.

All I know is that it keeps me interested in life. I am ultimately willing to learn anything from anyone and am grateful for the people who share their knowledge with me. Maybe I can find myself in Russia one day wrestling a bear (not gay burly dude). Who knows? As long as I have fun.

The Fate of Really Stupid People

To me, stupidity is a grievous sin. That’s one thing Satanism and I agree upon.

I read headlines like “Faith Healers Sentenced to Prison for Killing Their Children Through Neglect” or “Child Dies of Diabetes Because Took Child to Chiropractor Instead of Medical Physican.”

I have seen it a lot in my own life as well.

Let me first say that everyone is stupid at times, myself included. The stupidity I refer to is definitely a pattern and its the willfulness to think and act stupidity with very little attempt at self-improvement. It makes me think that people are born really stupid and just can not help it.

Aside from being really stupid, my stepfather was very cruel and malicious as well. It is my belief that stupid people will phase themselves out of existence and in many times many horrible ways. My stepfather died one of the worst deaths imaginable, a slow painful death where his entire being just withered away.

See, there are these boxes on Marlboro cigarettes, at least in America. They are warnings about the ill health risks associated with smoking. In Europe and Asia they are even more pronounced with pictures of people with holes in their necks. When you smoke you are giving your informed consent about what these things will do to you. Not surprisingly, many people still smoke.

Eventually, my stepfather was eating out of his stomach. Then he had an iron halo put around the crown of his head with screws in head included. He could no longer eat and he dropped weight. I’m sure he was in chronic pain. He couldn’t enjoy the small everyday things in life like eating, drinking, or just being without pain and discomfort. This went on for about a decade before he finally died.

This is a man who hated doctors, didn’t believe in global warming, and treated me like a piece of shit because I did not agree with the Afghan or Iraq war. He saw no benefit in higher learning. He used to say things like “Oh, which party ended slavery? The Republicans.” Of course, historians would point out that the Republican party in the time of Lincoln does not resemble the modern day party, but people like him are more focused on simple labels than the specifics.

One time my mother and stepfather video called me in the middle of the night and chastised me for being asleep. I was in Thailand and they were in Hawaii, so of course, there’s going to be a major time difference. It’s like the concept of time zones and the light hitting the globe and different levels was beyond them.

I have to mention that despite the horrendous way my stepfather died my mother still smokes. I love her very much and I wish she would stop.

Currently, my sister and her boyfriend do not vaccinate their children. They believe it is harmful technology. Her boyfriend believes the earth is flat and NASA is run by Nazis. I get scared because I love my niece and nephew so much and my worst nightmare is the parents Darwin Awarding their own children.

According to The Psychopath’s Bible you should see everyone as heading on a path of self-destruction, which is what they secretly want. That is true to some degree but what causes the anxiety is seeing loved ones doing so and not being able to stop them.

I am not special. I am not intelligent. But at least I am able to see the common sense in not smoking or taking major vaccinations. I do not want to see loved ones make majorly bad life choices and pay the consequences. I didn’t want to see my stepfather in the shape he was despite everything.

However, people like this are going to phase themselves out and their gene pool as well. Maybe this is nature. Maybe this is Darwinism.

Why I Don’t Worship the Troops

Go around any average American neighborhood and you will see people with special license plates or bumper stickers saying “U.S. Veteran” or “Vietnam Veteran.” People have their hats or other clothing to make sure you know they are veterans of military service here in the United States.

It’s definitely one of the sacred cows in the United States.

But for myself I can give a shit. I find it annoying and self-righteous as fuck that people need to interject that they are veterans. There are many reasons for this.

First, let me start with the horrible United States foreign policy. Are people not aware of the sort of actions that this country has taken in Central America, South America, Southeast Asia, and the Middle East? The United States is constantly overthrowing democratically elected governments or chasing resources such as oil. Many people, both American and non-American would agree that the U.S. foreign policy has done nothing but draw the ire of the rest of the world.

If no one volunteered to join the military the United States would find it much harder to press their agenda on the rest of the world.

Secondly, the military is the most socialistic entity in the United States. If you sign up to kill brown people the United States will provide healthcare, dental, child-care, tuition assistance and an array of other goodies that other people in Europe and elsewhere get just with citizenship. See, they want people desperate so they can go kill overseas. Even the brown people here will willingly sign up to kill brown people half-way across the world because of this desperation.

However, if people stopped joining the military and advocated for what they want the average person could have healthcare and more protections that a sturdy safety net could provide. The United States would be forced to invest in its infrastructure. The French know how to advocate for themselves and they have decent lives. Many people in the United States are too poor and stupid to really even understand the rest of the world.

The amount of money the United States spends on its military is atrocious especially regarding how messed up the infrastructure is. There are people in the United States who definitely live in third-world conditions.

The personal lives of the veterans when they come also are pretty bad. In my experience, many of these “heroes” who get churned out of the military machine just come back to society as sociopaths. The value of life is less to them. It’s hard to have rational conversations with these people. They act like you personally owe them something for your freedom and existence. They become shitty husbands, fathers, and human beings. I have hated being around many vets.

Outside the United States, no one really gives a shit for their military service. A lot of people think the U.S. military is a nuisance.

So honestly, please save that fucking shit for someone who cares. I know a lot of Americans would hate me for saying this but they are lemmings. Vets have such a huge rate of suicide and drug use. No one really gives a shit because it’s not like society goes out of its way to rehabilitate these people.

What I Will Miss About Hawaii…

There’s a few good things about living on the Big Island.

First and foremost I love the wildlife. I have lived with geckos the past six or so years and it’s wonderful. The Big Island geckos are bright neon green and have cute personalities. They love to ride on the dashboard of my car. The babies love to crawl on me. They are sweet looking. I talk to them and make sure they eat bugs.

Mongoose, related to weasels, run around and they are cute. Chickens and hogs run around. The occasional goat wanders around.

The beaches are probably the best in the world. There is so much aquatic wildlife including bright colored fish. There are not too many dangers like poisonous snakes or saltwater crocodiles. The water is clean and deep blue.

Old Asian people are everywhere. They remind me of my grandmother who is very cute. These people are adorable as well because they putter around really slowly and look two-hundred years old. It is not like when I was living in Orange County and everyone was white and crabby.

The air is very clean. It feels good to walk around and breathe. It is better than breathing in big city air.

There are a few local foods that I love. Not to mention tropical fruit.

Living here has been quiet and peaceful. Most of the time too quiet and peaceful but I have used this time to grow as a person and learn new knowledge. I attend Jiu-Jitsu classes. I have built a WordPress server and File Sharing Server.