End of 2019

I continue to try and become a better person every day.

I am trying to treat people with respect and acceptance. I try very hard not to react emotionally to criticism or outright aggression. Most of this is received from online sources such as Reddit or Facebook, but there have been a few times in Hawaii I had to just let something go or let something slide.

Empathy is something I work very hard to improve. I am always asking myself, “What does this look like from the perception of my mother?” or “How would this person feel about that?”

It’s hard. I fail sometimes. I fail big. I insult people on Facebook, particularly the Hawaiian Paradise Park group. It makes me feel better for just a little bit because I get so frustrated, but then after a while I regret it because it’s juvenile and petty.

Taking risks is something that terrifies me. When I do take risks I try very hard to calculate it to mitigate damage. However, at this point in my life, I think that if I am not taking pure risks then I am missing out on a lot in my existence. I have been terrified to go into the workforce, for instance, but if I don’t the quality of my life might not what I want. My options too limited. So I have been trying like hell to find gainful employment I could be proud of.

Anger is something I suffer from a lot of time. I am an angsty millennial who maybe sees life as stacked against me. I am trying to stay away from the news, Trump-hating, and being resentful towards the upper-class establishment. I don’t want to resent anyone!

Next year I will continue to be better than the last, and so on. Ever striving in the path of the Overman, never to reach his exalted heights but in the process improving myself on the individual level.

China

I want peace between China and the rest of the world. I know there is an amazing culture there. The people living there have so much potential. They are not mindless automatons. They have differing opinions and beliefs and that should be respected.

Current day China is a monoculture dystopia that shelters its people from the rest of the world.

I know I rag on China a lot and say the people just shit in the middle of the street or are wild animals. The truth is, it’s awakening. It’s awakening to the rest of the world. I believe they have the potential to lead the world in a loving way that does not make its people seem and feel like commodities.

Maybe one day a second chance and Beijing or Shanghai could be in the cards. I don’t know. My short time in China made me feel like I lived in 1984. However, I want to know the good about China. There is a good side, there has to be.